What is Of The What And For Why Do?

Of The What And For Why Do is totally hot! It's what is and, more importantly, what is not. It's what you sought, but not what you seek. It's a virtual tour of reality, a pig in a poke, a fly in the ointment, a chink in the armor, a watched pot that never boils. It's by and for the people and of mice and men. It's for whom the bell tolls in the heat of the night. It's a midsummer night's dream in the garden of eden and why Johnny can't read the Valachi papers. It's life without the possibility of proles.

It's Bill Gates, covered in open sores, announcing Winux 2000. It's Naked Lunch for the Brady bunch. It's being and nothingness in the land of the rising sun and the power and the glory of knowing that your cat's getting enough cheese. It's Alexandre Eiffel admiring his erection. It's being hauled into the food court for pinching a tomato. It's a catch 22 behind door number three in the house that Jack built. It's mad cows grazing on a pastor. It's a moon landing, Knot's Landing, Lands End, and the Promised Land with cameo appearances by Princess Di, The Grateful Dead, Paula Jones and Eraser Head. It's walking a thin blue line on the eve of destruction while knights in white satin do reds and see the color purple.

It's dodos dropping Fen Phen like bon bons so they don't look like won tons wearing moo moos from the Bon Ton. It's Bill Clinton relaxing in the oval orifice. It's three men and a little lady on a slow boat to China in the merry merry month of May. It's the way we were in days of futures past. It's breakfast at Tiffany's with fried green tomatoes for a few dollars more. It's Monica Lewinski and Linda Lovelace returning to Capistrano. It's a plea to a lesser charge. It's a reminder that indecision is a decision only you can make.

And, it's Agriculture, Art, Books, Business, Computers, Communism, Crime, Literature, Politics, Science, Social Science, Medicine, Movies, TV, Radio, Radio Flyer Wagons, Radon Gas, Real Estate, Religion, and Rocket Science.

It's all things considered and the proverbial monarch sans apparel. But best of all, it tastes just like chicken.

Who is it For?

It's for John Glen and all of the other old farts in space suits. It's for couples who filed separately in the first quarter but became engaged since the last period. It's for everyone who answered no to question three. It's for divinity school graduates who are looking for their first missionary position. It's for the Minnesota Twins and the Dionne quintuplets. It's for Lions and Tigers and Bears, and Engines and Spiders and Crawlers. It's for people with no previous credit history. It's for those who really believe that Al Gore actually did invent the Internet. It's for everyone who has a secret crush on Jenny Jones. It's for women who appear in beer commercials.

It's for the old boy network, the boys from Brazil, the kids in the hall, the new kids on the block, the man in the white suit, the man in the gray flannel suit, the man with one red shoe, the man who would be king, the man of La Mancha, the old man and the sea, the man from U.N.C.L.E., the man who came to dinner, the man for all seasons, the omega man, the spice girls, the league of women voters, the ladies of the evening, the daughter's of the American revolution, the veterans of foreign wars, and the village people.

It's for the aged, the elderly, children, free masons and those who charge a nominal fee, kids, lawyers, lovers and other strangers, lotto players, morons, mormans, pets, dogs, coal miners, coal miner's daughters, pregnant working alcoholic mothers with AIDS, vegetarians, vendors, zealots

Why is it Here?

It's here because you can't always get what you want. It's here because Christ died for it. It's here because bonds fell sharply while orders for durable goods remained constant. It's here because you elected not to be resuscitated. It's here because there ain't no sunshine when she's gone up in the country. It's here because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It's here because seven out of ten doctors say it's here.

When Will It Stop?

It will stop when people demand to know specifically why a popular product was named CheeseWiz. You've cut the cheese and been cheesed off, but have you ever been cheesed on? Have you ever taken a cheese? Then you see my point. It'll stop when they tell us which one of the McDonald's employees currently working behind the counter was the one who just cleaned the bathroom five minutes ago. It'll stop when we no longer have to instruct a KMART employee not to put a pack of lifesavers in a bag. It'll stop when there's no limit on the number of coupons per household.

There is Perhaps a Point?

Yes, it's all part of a little research project to discover the "secrets" of gaining top placement in the search engines for FREE! The "creative" writing was simply a fun way to create lists of words that fall into a variety of categories. When the results have been compiled, I'll make them available at an HTML tutorial site that is currently under construction offline.

If you would like to assist me in this endeavor, I would be interested in knowing the exact search string that you typed into the search engine to cause this page to be listed in the results. I also need the name of the search engine or meta crawler that the search string was originally sent to. If possible, place all of the information in the subject line of an otherwise blank e-mail and send it to me. Please use the following format: AltaVista: Of Mice and Men.

Please note, when I receive mail in the above format (search engine:search string), I will simply copy the subject field and delete the mail unopened. If you also have a comment that you would like to make in addition to sharing your search string, put "Of The What And For Why Do" in the subject field so that I will open it.

If, for some reason, you would like to link to this page you may do so. Some search engines are reputed to give better placement to sites which have many links pointing to them, and I would appreciate the opportunity to evaluate that claim.

Do You Have Links?

Yes, we have approximately 2500 links to various sites in the following categories: Automotive, Business, Computers & Technology, Government, Hobbies & Lifestyles, News & Information, Products & Services, Search Tools, Web Publishing, and World.

In fact, even though this site doesn't actually contain the information that you were searching for, it could very well be available via one of the links on the links page. In which case, you haven't totally wasted your time here.

Address all corespondence to: [email protected]